My First Week at Work

August 3rd marked the end of my 5 week work hiatus. I started my professional development training for my new job two weeks ago at North Star Academy and there is a lot to tell. For those who are educators, I wish you were all sitting in the seats with me. There is great work to be done in the specific realm of urban education. We know it. We knew it. But who is doing anything about it? I’ve gotta say, my first day was very inspiring and thought-provoking. I am not a teacher; technically my position will be the school social worker. I will be doing counseling with students in the elementary and middle schools. I know that my work goes beyond my office walls, and beyond the confines of the schools. I am setting children up for a lifetime of success and it is a DAUNTING task that I, and my teacher colleagues have laid out before us.  I am intimidated, but I am also motivated.  I’m strong, and I’m intelligent and I’m ready for the challenge.

1st Day!

Day 1- Setting: School Cafeteria, 43 new teachers across three North Star elementary schools (I’m the only non-teacher) We are constantly being engaged in thought-provoking discussion about education and our no-excuses approach to the students that will enter our buildings. I found myself really feeling like a kid, in a good way, during today’s training. I want to be called on! I’m listening! It’s weird!!!! The teachers (and me) are learning from the principals modeling techniques that will be used in classrooms to obtain compliance and dictate expectations.  I get the chills twice throughout the day, feeling the energy from others, an d getting excited! We write, and re-write reflections and mission statements and I’m shocked at the diversity of our faculty and impressed at the level of dedication. I make efforts to be open and converse with others. There is another Malia here! She’s from Seattle, WA. I am floored because I’ve never met someone with my name. I feel glad I’m not a teacher, but really glad that others have stepped up to the huge undertaking that is teaching. I meet a few runners and I think to myself “how are they going to get any running in?!”.  I get home 12 hours later and have two assignments 1: a reflection on the school’s mission due by email in an hour to my principal (done!) and a re-write of my mission statement, to be presented tomorrow(also done! see below). I have an emotional conversation with Craig about how I want to be there for him, like I need him for me during what is sure to be a hectic time for both of us.

Day 2- The novelty of waking up at 5:22 has worn off. The alarm went off today and I thought “Nooo, already?!” and I actually went to bed before 11. I pulled it together and left on time though. Today’s workshops were more active; we did several role plays and gave each other feedback and received feedback from the principals which we immediately had to re-role play. I think that’s a great strategy when teaching the techniques our teachers will be utilizing. I felt awkward playing teacher sometimes, but I’m not sure I felt any more weird than the other “trained” teachers. I ate my snacks early on, not realizing that lunch wouldn’t be provided for us like yesterday and so when lunchtime came, I wasn’t hungry but I knew I was in for a long wait until my next bite. Overall, another good day and I actually got a “shout-out”: a large index card from one of the school leaders pinpointing something I said which reflected the school’s mission. I felt like a little kid; excited! When we were dismissed, I made the drive back but I went to a seminar put on by my trainer, Jon Messner about core training for distance runners, but not before grabbing a bite to eat with Craig. I was STARVING!

Day 3- I am getting a little more used to the wake up, and I think I have a good morning routine in place. Major is still laying in bed as if to say “Isn’t it a little early for my walk mom?”

Another day of learning new skills and rolling them together in role plays. Some of us play children, others play teachers and then we praise and give things to improve. We also have been watching videos of veteran teachers implementing the skills which I think is great. I am also beginning to remember everyone’s name, but conveniently, we will be meeting a slew of new people next week.

More to come! Stay tuned!!

No News is Good News…Really!

Sorry for the lapse in posting. I don’t seem to be doing so great with my goal of a weekly post. I figured though, I would hop on here today though and fill in the readers about what I’ve been up to and inform you about the beginning of a new venture in my professional life. I landed a new job working at a top charter school in Newark, NJ! My position there will be similar to my old counseling duties; elementary and middle school students with some emotional and behavioral problems. The big difference between the new school and the one I’ve been at for the past year is the academics. The school uses the phrase “academic rigor” to describe the curriculum. From Kindergarten, the students are prepped for college by dividing them into groups based on their teachers’ alma maters. They learn the college fight songs and are constantly being academically challenged from the time they walk in the doors in the morning and beyond the time they leave with homework. It’s really exciting to see the kids learning and being pushed to achieve, especially because if anyone knows anything about Newark, NJ, it is that it is one of the most socially, economically and academically deprived areas in the state. It seems though, in the the space of the last decade, a group of people had the presence of mind to create this charter school network. I am really excited to begin working with a dedicated group of people whose primary goal is to get these kids to college. I can’t even express how depressing it is to think about the students I’ve left behind, knowing that they most likely will not have the same opportunity to be educated in such an environment. My only hope is that my boss is able to find someone 10 times better than me to fill my spot in order to help those kids. I don’t start making the trip up to Newark until August 3rd though, so I’ve been filling my time since June 25th with a fair amount of activities. I went to Hilton Head, SC for a week which was a great wind down from such a hectic year. I went to yoga almost every day I was there and have been trying to go more often since I got back, but being unemployed for a month has put some financial constraints on me. Major has been spoiled with all the time he gets to spend with me, and we’ve both done a lot of daytime napping. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, including Hunger Games, I Am Not A Serial Killer, The Jersey Sting, Angela’s Ashes and may I suggest for all teachers, Teach Like A Champion. I have been raving to every teacher I know about this book. My new job sent it to me, in addition to another book, Driven by Data and excerpts from various books, prepping me for the culture of the school. Teach Like A Champion has useful techniques that I wish I had known about prior to starting my last job to help my teachers with classroom management, but this is one of the perils of my work. I always look back with a hint of regret at the things I didn’t know and I wish I could have done better. I truly look forward to working amongst a positive group of people. In addition to all that, I have been sure to poison my mind by watching lots of television: The Sopranos (started from the beginning), True Blood, South Park (an all-time favorite), and recently I started watching Heroes again but I had to start from the beginning because I forgot every thing I had seen.

I have not run a step since June 1st. I haven’t felt like it and this hellacious heat is not making me crave it. I may start when I start working but I don’t know if I’ll be able to find the energy in the hours I’m not at work.  I will try harder, though, to post here more regularly in the coming weeks when I do start work and have some interesting things to say!

Good reading about running…

3 days ago, Craig sent me a text to check out this blog. He told me that it was really good writing. I took a look and I was, in fact, impressed by the writing. As a former collegiate runner, I often appreciate reading different stories and perspectives of like-minded individuals. She Was Once A Runner chronicles a vastly different experience than the one I had as a division I distance runner, and it really made me realize how lucky I was to be part of a good program. I know that we weren’t perfect; I certainly had my opinions about the work ethic of some of my teammates and often questioned the sanity of others. I know that personally I should have spent more summers training diligently and doing “the little things” better. However, I’m fortunate that I didn’t feel any pressure from my teammates/coaches/parents to look a certain way in order to perform at a high level. I knew a little bit about eating disorders going into college, but I had no idea how anyone could run hungry. I’m not naive enough to say that I had no idea there were adults who fostered the belief that losing a few pounds would improve performance, but it’s very jarring to read about the audacity of these people who are encouraging such unhealthy habits. From a nutritional standpoint, obviously but also the psyche takes a huge hit. Basically they’re saying “You’re not valuable unless you’re skinny and you’re running fast.” I certainly admit to having those thoughts myself on occasion as I ran several sub-par races by my own standards. I put a lot of pressure on myself to run well and tried many forms of mental trickery to try and run fast and if I did have a good race I would try and replicate everything to get the same or better results and I was not often successful. Instead of looking back at those college years with wistful regret, She Was Once A Runner makes me look back with a sigh of relief that I made it out unscathed. What makes me more regretful are that there are a lot of females out there who are going through what she is writing about right now and are embarking upon what is sure to be a stressful summer of training when really they should be enjoying their time off from class and the stress of competing.  I hope my post spurs on future, current, and former runners to read She Was Once A Runner if it helps them avoid the pitfalls of college competition, not feel alone in what they may be currently experiencing or survived, and also, like me, feel grateful for having supportive adults in my life.

My Cross Country Team- Fall 2006 - We had our share of ups and downs but we genuinely liked being around each other and you can never underestimate the value of suffering through hard times not alone, but with friends

Movie Review: Something Borrowed…& Other TV Thoughts

Let me preface this post by stating, I did not read the book by Emily Griffin. I’d seen it in the bookstores way back when, but it didn’t strike me as something I’d want to read.

From OnlineMovieHut.com

I really only went to see the movie because a) I get 2 free tickets on Tuesdays b) Jon Krasinski from “The Office” was in it. All in all, it was pretty lame. The main character played by Ginnifer Goodwin had the worst wardrobe and haircut, maybe to get the point across that she was the “nerd”. I didn’t like watching her. Kate Hudson was fine, I had no problem with her, her fiance in the movie wasn’t bad to look at but his character was maddening. *SPOILER ALERT* The fact that he cheated on Kate Hudson’s Darcy with Ginnifer’s Rachel was really off-putting and I didn’t see him having a future with either one of these ladies later down the plot. He said dumb things like “let’s see where this goes” when talking to Rachel about their affair. Where this goes? I wanted to shout from my seat. “Dude, you are cheating on your fiance and ‘trying to make it work’ while you are very much engaged!” Do people really act like this?? It also didn’t help that the movie was nearly 2 hours long and as the 100 minute mark approached, I really wished I had read the book so I could just know the ending already. Throw in all the cheesy parts like a girl running down the street in the rain and having a confrontation with a guy (UNREALISTIC) and helping write wedding vows for the person who was going to marry her “soul mate” and it just made for a C+ movie at best. I had to refrain from making several cynical comments throughout. I will say that it did have funny parts, thanks to Jon Krasinski’s Ethan.

You might be saying to yourself, “Wow, Malia, I didn’t know you were such a hater of romantic comedies, or movies in general.”

I respond to you by saying: I LOVE MOVIES.  I think I hate lame cookie-cutter movies about love. During the previews of “Something Borrowed” I watched a movie trailer that seemed to tell a similar story to that of “When Harry Met Sally” but also resembled the preview before it, even an actress was replicated. I just wish that when making movies now, the creators/writers/whoever would just stop churning out remakes and book-to-film concoctions and make something no one has seen or heard before.

That was more of a rant, than a review, but whatever.

I recently wrapped up watching HBO’s Six Feet Under, a 5-season series about a family-owned funeral home. I’d categorize it as a dark comedy for most of it, with its scary, emotional, screwed-up parts. I will openly admit, I cried like a baby during the ending of the final episode. I started watching the show because of Michael C. Hall. He’s in Showtime’s Dexter and is synonymous with all things awesome. I highly recommend Six Feet Under for those who are looking to get a Michael C. Hall fix during the Dexter off-season, although his role is significantly different as he is a gay, God-fearing, control freak. Keep your eyes peeled for some actors who also were in Dexter! I love when that happens.

*side note* I often found myself thinking during Six Feet Under, “I wonder if Michael C. Hall went to a psychic perhaps before his acting career took off and was told that he was going to be surrounded by death but with no type of context. Did that freak him out? Does he look back at his two series and say ‘Ha! She was right!’ ?”

The Fisher Family - from imdb.com

Reasons to Keep Running

Lately, my running has been inconsistent; 2 days off here, 1 day off there, 5 miles one day, 50 minutes another. Needless to say, I’m not really building much momentum towards anything. Back in February, I agreed to run what is called the Spartan Sprint. Read more about the series here. Usually, I’m not one who is down for muddy obstacle courses but since this particular race on June 4th is only 3 miles, I figured I can get through it. I’ve had an aversion to races like these because of the overall dirtiness, and the slowness that I associate with them. Often, races like Spartan Race and the Tough Mudder series are 10 to 12 miles of barrel jumping, wall climbing, tire hopping, barbed-wired and other various taxing, but non-running related activities.  The thought of spending two hours “running” 10 miles makes me wince.  3 miles is certainly feasible. So right now, that is my main reason for keeping up some semblance of a running schedule but I also thought of some other reasons why I should try and keep it up.

• My shameful reason: when I don’t run, I sort of “forget” to shower. As a kid, I used to protest that if I hadn’t sweat during the day, there wasn’t really a need to bathe. This reasoning didn’t fly so I trudged off to the bathroom. Now that I think about it, sometimes I faked it! As an adult, I’m so used to feeling like I need to shower after a run so I take one. If I haven’t ran, and don’t feel scummy, it slips my mind and I find myself waking up 10 minutes earlier the next day to take one before work. I’m not a complete scuzzbucket, so there’s no “fake” showers now.
• Eating: When I run everyday, I have a balanced appetite and I know what to expect of myself. I’ve noticed on the days I don’t run, I’m off of my eating schedule. When I don’t run, I don’t wake up ravenous, but I force down breakfast, because I’m convinced that not eating breakfast really screws up the metabolism and I’m not willing to sacrifice my body because I’m not hungry. This poses a problem however, because since I’ve forced a meal on myself, my stomach hurts for 30 minutes, and then, 2.5 hours later (sometimes less!), I’m hungry again. But I don’t WANT to eat now! I want to be hungry again at lunchtime but, its unrealistic to think about going with out food for 5 waking hours. I would lose my mind if I ever missed a meal. I hate to be hungry. This is a tricky balance though because when I do run a lot, I’m hungry more often and am convinced I can’t eat enough food and it’s hard to eat a lot of the right stuff ALL OF THE TIME.  As an aside, I have food stashed nearly everywhere (car, desk, all handbags etc), “in case of emergency”. If I leave work a little bit hungry, that constitutes an emergency. A long wait in the doctor’s office? Oil change? Errands? Emergencies!
• I like running. I’m trying to convince myself to do another marathon, perhaps Paris in 2012.

But the truth of it all is I think I’m just a little burned out and I know I can’t give 100% right now. My right knee has been giving me a little bit of trouble too which doesn’t help. I want get to the muddy 3 miler and then really take some time off again but this time, commit to the time frame of a month. Maybe I’ll swim or bike or do some yoga but NO RUNNING! I need a real live break, not just where I feel an itch to run for a day or two, but where there is a building anticipation. And who knows if that will ever come? I’ve got other stuff to worry about, like my new apartment! And it’s close proximity to the beach and fun!

More to come!

Working for the Weekend…or Summer Break

My office space

I think I’ve mentioned before that I like my job…and I really do! I am always learning new things and I appreciate being challenged. At this point, however, I’m ready for the summer. In reality, I’ll only have 10 days off, but summer school just has a different feel and is a bit more laid back. Right now, the kids have checked out mentally, and I’m right behind them. I’m trying really hard to keep it together, because I know it’s only going to get more crazy from here on out (155 days down, 33 school days to go). I’m ready to just start fresh, with a clean slate, and a new office! My boss and I made a deal so I’ll be getting a bigger office come September. Still no window though, so I still need to move up on the totem. A student asked me what would I do if there was a fire…being that I have no windows, how would I escape? I responded with my simple solution of walking out the door, but then, he threw a curveball and said “But what if the fire is right outside YOUR door?! What then?”

Depressingly, I said that I’d simply die.

So I really need a window. My office is in the basement and since there are classrooms with children, they get windows that they can climb in and out of. They do this often. We’ve never had a fire so there never has been an actual need but just to give readers a better picture of the type of students I deal with.

Anyway, I’ve got a lot of great ideas for the upcoming year, I want to do a “Girls Group” focusing on self-esteem issues, I’d like to start a book club to get these kids reading, and I’d like to put weekly quotes up on my office door that can be inspiring or conversation starters for sessions. If you look behind my desk, I have butcher paper up with markings; I’ve measured all the kids over the past few weeks and then when September hits, it will be fun (for me definitely, for them hopefully) to see how much they’ve grown! The time and energy for these things and more is going to come from a relaxing and fun summer.

As for running, I’m going to start up again this week and hopefully start racing soon when I get my “mojo” back. I haven’t decided on the marathon idea yet, but I definitely have some time to think about it.

33 days to go...who will break first? Us or them...

Race Report- Long Branch Half Marathon

Long Branch Half-Marathon

1:26:15 – 3rd Female- 33rd O’all

Pre-Race: Woke up at about 6am with the plan to leave close to 6:40. The reason I chose Long Branch was because of it’s close proximity to my house. I like not having to get up in the 5 o’ clock hour and drive close to an hour (or more) to my race destination. I did my normal routine of walking Major, eating oatmeal and headed out the door close to 6:30. I got a good parking spot for easy departure and sat and waited to warm-up. I played a little “Zombie Farm” on my iPod and got to warming up at about 7:20. I did the 3 mile (1 mile easy-1 mile uptempo-1 mile easy)warm up I’d been doing for workouts  and my last race and despite a pit stop, I still felt pretty sluggish. I did some drills, a little bit of stretching and changed into my racing flats and singlet and made my way over to the start. The full marathon had started at 8am and we were scheduled to go off at 8:30am. I weaved my way through a large amount of people and stopped a little short of the start line. I milled around with Rob DePhillipis, owner of Runner’s High (the jersey I’ve been rocking this year) and a little after 8:30, we were off.

Race Progression: The beginning of road races is always hectic; you’ve got those crazy people determined to blow up before mile 2. I stuck with Rob and Craig’s friend Tom Falvey and we came through mile 1 at 6:25. My race plan had been to come through mile 1 at 6:17 and speed up from there. However on this particular day and the days leading up to this race, I just hadn’t been into it mentally. I was actually happy to see 6:25 at mile 1. It gave me a little comfort, I don’t know why really. I stayed with Rob and Tom through about 3 miles who were chatting off an on and it was nice for once to be running with people comfortably. Generally in races I’m by myself and it takes me more mental effort. We got to a bridge with a slight incline and I measured my efforts and eased up while Tom and Rob cruised over it and I let them go. Alone again. After another bridge incline around mile 5 is where I started to catch up to the marathoners. This helped me mentally because I felt like I was passing so many people and it helped me find my rhythm. Too little, too late though and I knew I was not going to run anywhere near my best time. I took some Clif Shot-Blocks at this time too. I didn’t feel like I needed them and my stomach was already uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to feel like I needed them later, because it certaintly would have been too late. I took water at most of the stops, just to splash on me. I didn’t have a watch (my Garmin decided no to turn on today) so I ran basically on feel. I ran through the marathoners and was trying to find any women in my race to beat which was unsuccesful. Every woman I saw and eventually passed was in the marathon with possibly one exception. At one point however, there was a girl who kind of zipped by me between 8 and 9 and that got me going a bit and after trying to go after and passing her shortly thereafter, I was “alone” again. I heard some cheers some fellow MU alums around mile 10 which was fun and pumped me up to press on and I just kept telling myself only 5k to go. By then, I knew I was going to get through the race but off of any time I had really planned for. I also made the decision not to really try and push it too hard. Why empty the tank to run 1:24? I came through 12 miles at 1:18:50 which is about what my goal had been when I sat down and wrote my race goals in February. I tried to pick up the pace for that last mile and I don’t know that it really made much of a difference. I just didn’t want to get passed by anyone else. I came through the finish, not really feeling exhausted, just thirsty and a stomach-ache. I was definitely disappointed with the time because I’ve run 1:21 and I know I’m even faster than that. Also disappointing, is not winning. I’ve not won many local races but this is one that I thought I really could have even running slower than 1:21. First place went at 1:25:20. Frustrating. There isn’t a prize to be won, I don’t really care about the recognition, but just to win a bigger race like this would have been nice. It’s funny, really, to think “Pfft, 3rd place, so what?” when back in the days of college, people were always asking “Well what place did you get?” and to say you were 49th or 20th in a regional or conference meet was good, you knew, but that “layperson” ,as I like to call them, asking only knows 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

Like I said before, I hadn’t felt the fire for this race for about 3 weeks. I don’t know, I just mentally wasn’t in it. I’d had off from work for Spring Break which was punctuated by meals and naps and the previous weeks running-wise just had me feeling tired and unmotivated. I had some really good long runs, but less than great workouts which weren’t encouraging. I had some skipped runs peppered in there as well. I knew I had done a lot of work and was prepared, the motivation just had been dwindling. On the plus side, I had 3 really positive races on my journey to this race, all PRs. I can’t complain about that. Right now, I’m looking forward to taking some time off from running, and hopefully getting back into it sooner than later. I’m toying with the idea of training for another marathon. It’s long and boring and mentally taxing but there’s something about it that I found to be really cathartic and just the training itself brings a feeling of acheivement. The downside is the potential for injuries and the even bigger potential of not having a good showing on race day. As runners we know not every race day will be perfect, but for something as big as a marathon, you hope for the best. I may or may not have it in me. If I answer yes to another marathon, it brings about many more questions: Which one? How far away (distance)? Weekly mileage max? And then do I attempt to keep the mileage low to avoid injury but potentially sacrifice performance? Do I race in the months leading up to the marathon? That particular question came to mind this weekend. Was I “raced out”? I love racing and to me, there is little point in running if there isn’t a race to look forward to. But there may be something to be said for being “unleashed” in a sense, come race day. In the past, I’ve refuted Tarello’s attempts to have me go out to races and run controlled even efforts well under my actual capabilities. I don’t think it hurt for Boston 2010, but maybe I should have tried it this go-round. Oh well. Not much sense in worrying about the past and maybe the same can be said for the future. I’ll give some thought over the next few weeks and come to some decisions.